Battle of the Patty Flippers

Battle of the Patty Flippers is the sixteenth episode from the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the sixteenth episode of season one. In this episode, a new business arises in Bikini Bottom called "The Sizzling Burger". At first, Squidward convinces Mr. Krabs that this new restaurant is nothing to be worried about. This theory stands until more “The Sizzling Burger”s run ramped throughout Bikini Bottom. One of these restaurants demolishes the Chum Bucket, forcing Mr. Krabs and Plankton to try and take a stand. They both travel to the headquarters for “The Sizzling Burger” in Ruffe-sia to confront the CEO, only to be captured. SpongeBob is then forced to travel to this country to save Mr. Krabs and Plankton, but they can only be released under one condition. This episode is paired with A Building from Above.

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Eugene H. Krabs
 * Squidward Q. Tentacles
 * Sheldon J. Plankton
 * Karen (cameos)
 * Donovan
 * Miscellaneous Background Characters

Transcript

 * [episode begins with SpongeBob, working at the Krusty Krab]
 * SpongeBob: [carrying tray out of kitchen door; kicks open kitchen door] Order up, Squidward! [kitchen door swings back closed, throwing SpongeBob out of back door; enters through front door] Order up! [walks by customer]
 * Customer: Am I going to get my order? [facepalms; sighs] This is just like college.
 * Squidward: [camera cuts to Squidward; reading a magazine; leaning back in register] Such lovely craftsman...[pats the cash register boat] ship. [laughs]
 * SpongeBob: Order up, Squidward. [drops tray on Squidward's foot and turns back to look at the customers of the Krusty Krab; sigh of relief] It just warms my heart to see the Krusty Krab customers set foot in here.
 * Squidward: [grabbing foot] At least they have a foot to walk in here with. [lets go of foot and picks up tray] I think that [places tray in SpongeBob's arms] you can carry this one, SpongeBob.
 * SpongeBob: But I have [holds up three fingers] two Krabby Patties on the grill to flip. [sees smoke rise from the grill] Never mind. [walks to customer] Here's your order, sir.
 * Customer: [takes tray] Finally. [takes tray] Hey. Why does it look like this tray smooched a foot?
 * [SpongeBob walks back to Squidward]
 * Squidward: [leaning on cash register] If only I had made it into marketing business...
 * SpongeBob: [walks back to Squidward] Done and done, Squidward. Just another satisfied customer. [leans on register] Bask in it, Squidward. You don't see many like these.
 * Squidward: And you don't see them for long, either. [points to customer, now leaving the Krusty Krab] Where is he going?
 * SpongeBob: [runs to front door] Yeah, where is he going? [follows customers with eyes as the customer walks into an unknown building; runs to Squidward] Sq...Sq...Sq...Squid-person! [grabs Squidward by shirt and pulls him to face] The customer just went to another restaurant! Somebody call the police!
 * Person: [pause] But I forgot my phone.
 * SpongeBob: [whispers in Squidward's ear] Squidward, listen. Promise me you will not tell Mr. Krabs about this. It would make him devastated.
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, being carried by a gurney quickly through the hospital]
 * Mr. Krabs: [moans] Why me?
 * SpongeBob: [runs and grabs Mr. Krabs's arm] It'll all be fine, Mr. Krabs. I didn't know that Squidward had told you about...well...you know what.
 * Mr. Krabs: [suddenly better; sits up in gurney] I'm all right, nurses. [stands up while gurney is taken away] Boy, the only reason that I came to the hospital was because I lost one cent profit. [begins to faint yet is caught by SpongeBob; shivers] Gives me shills just thinking about it. Now what was that you told Squidward not to tell me?
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Well, you see...Squidward wanted you to know that...well...uh...have you lost weight? It really loosens up that suit of yours.
 * Mr. Krabs: Stop the flattering, boy. Now tell me what this secret is.
 * SpongeBob: Secret? Would you call it a secret? I would call it more of a hush-hush sort of thing. But then again, [places finger to chin] wouldn't that just be a secret?
 * Mr. Krabs: [grabs SpongeBob's collar] Out with it, boy. Or you'll have to talk to the...uh...thing I'll have to think about.
 * SpongeBob: Okay, okay. [takes in big breath]
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, being rushed into a hospital room by a gurney]
 * Nurse 1: Get him in that room right there!
 * Nurse 2: I'll try. These new glasses I got aren't the best when it comes to...[runs gurney right into wall] aim. [continues running gurney into numerous walls]
 * SpongeBob: [in waiting room] Poor Mr. Krabs. I wonder what made him so sickly.
 * Squidward: [begins to stutter] What?! You're the one that told me not to tell him the big secret. What do you mean you don't know what made him so very [hisses in SpongeBob's face] sickly.
 * SpongeBob: [begins crying] You're right. It's all my fault.
 * Mr. Krabs: [walks out of hallway] You're sure right it is. [points at SpongeBob] You should have stopped that customer when you had the very chance to do so. [grabs customer] This is him right here. [throws customer away]
 * Customer: [offscreen] Hey!
 * Mr. Krabs: We need to stop this restaurant, or it could harm me restaurant. [faints]
 * Squidward: Please, Mr. Krabs. This whole thing will blow over in a few days. [facepalms] I'm sure the Krusty Krab is in [false smile] no harm...or is it?
 * Mr. Krabs: [grabs Squidward] Who are you and who are you working for?! Don't answer that! I already know! You're from that...uh...restaurant! The...uh...what's the name of the restaurant?
 * SpongeBob: [thinks] I think it was The Springing Burger.
 * Mr. Krabs: The Springing Burger!
 * SpongeBob: No. Maybe it was The Sleeping Burger.
 * Mr. Krabs: The Sleeping...!
 * SpongeBob: No, maybe it was the...
 * Mr. Krabs: Come on, SpongeBob. I haven't got all afternoon.
 * SpongeBob: I think it was...[snaps finger] Got it! The Sizzling Burger!
 * Mr. Krabs: The...! [lets go of Squidward] The Sizzling Burger? I've never heard of this restaurant, I don't think. But who cares?! It's ruining me profit!
 * Squidward: [to audience] Why doesn't anyone listen to me...ever? Do you know? Because if you do, tell me. Please.
 * [scene cuts to the Chum Bucket]
 * Plankton: [to Karen] Come on, Karen. Speak to me. According to the script, you'll have to in the next line.
 * Karen: [sighs] What is it, Plankton? Why should I say anything to you after what you did to me yesterday?
 * Plankton: All I did was let you look at my new chum recipe.
 * Karen: [weepingly] And I still have nightmares.
 * Plankton: But it was just yesterday.
 * Karen: One nightmare too many.
 * Mr. Krabs: [barges into laboratory] You!
 * Plankton: What did you do this time, Karen?!
 * Karen: He's looking for you, Plankton!
 * Mr. Krabs: That's right! [grabs Plankton] Tell me right now, Plankton! I want you to look me in the eye, open the hole that makes the words, move the tongue, and tell me exactly what game you're playing.
 * Plankton: [looks around] Yeah...what?
 * Mr. Krabs: Liar! [throws Plankton on ground] You're going to tell me and you're going to tell me right now! What is The Sizzling Burger and why is it ruining me restaurant?
 * Plankton: The Sizzling Burger? [stands up] That's the same restaurant that dropped my profits down a whole ten dollars!
 * Mr. Krabs: You make profit?
 * Plankton: Shocking, right. It was the ten dollars my mother gave me for my birthday.
 * Mr. Krabs: Then what happened?
 * Plankton: She took it back to buy a burger at The Sizzling Burger.
 * Karen: That wasn't her.
 * [Three large body guards enter the laboratory]
 * Bodyguard 1: We're going to need you to evacuate the building.
 * Plankton: But this is my restaurant! I'm going to need to see a badge! [badge drops on Plankton] Now I see it. And I also see my now dislodged arm.
 * Bodyguard 1: [picks up Karen] We need you to leave now!
 * Karen: [kicks bodyguard with wheels] How dare you carry a woman like that? [rolls out of Chum Bucket] I'll do it myself.
 * Bodyguard 2: [struggles to pick up Mr. Krabs] I think there's an anvil attached to this thing.
 * Mr. Krabs: [grumbles] SpongeBob lied to me! [walks out of Chum Bucket]
 * Plankton: [lifts badge off of self] Just great. Getting kicked out of my own building. [walks out of the building] What's new?
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs, Karen, and Plankton outside of the Chum Bucket]
 * Plankton: Well, we're out here. What now?
 * [a large excavator knocks down the Chum Bucket, replacing it with a "The Sizzling Burger"]
 * Plankton: What in the blue ocean is going on here?! [chases a construction worker] Hey, sir! Listen to me! What in the world is going on here?! I am talking here! [jumps] Excuse me! [stops to catch breath] I'll catch up with you later.
 * Mr. Krabs: What in the world do they think they're doing. [laughs] Even though it's not me restaurant, [seriously] I still hate how all of these Sizzling Burger's are taking over town.
 * Karen: You don't know the half of it, Krabs. [points to a large landscape of The Sizzling's Burger's]
 * Mr. Krabs: That's it. It's time to give up. [sits down] I'm sitting down.
 * Plankton: No, Krabs! You have to stand up! Sure things look bleak right now, but if we ruin the problem at the source, I'll have the Krabby Patty formula in no time! [silence] I mean, we'll have the Sizzling Burger restaurant down for good!
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and Plankton, walking down the sand with bookbags]
 * Plankton: Onward to Ruffe-sia!
 * Mr. Krabs: We all know where we're going, Plankton. No need to bark orders.
 * Plankton: Just making sure. Since I'm checking, did you pack everything you need? [whispers] As if I care.
 * Mr. Krabs: What are you, my mother? [reaches into backpack] But yes, I did. She's right here. [pulls out dollar bill]
 * Plankton: [grumbles] Owner of the best restaurant in town and doesn't even pack any food.
 * Mr. Krabs: Hey, I heard that. You cook enough chum to feed the town and you couldn't even bring a morsel. [to Plankton's face] Not to mention that you would disentegrate our insides if you did.
 * Plankton: Alright. Alright! You have a good point. We both didn't bring food. All we need to do is get to Ruffe-sia from here.
 * Mr. Krabs: And where exactly is here?
 * Plankton: You expect me to bring a GPS in this little thing? [picks up backpack] The only thing that could fit in here is just two bacterium. And they still have barely enough space.
 * Bacteria 1: [offscreen] Could you scooch over?!
 * Bacteria 2: [offscreen] I would ask you the same question if I knew you could.
 * Mr. Krabs: Ew. Note to self: Stay away from Plankton's backpack.
 * Plankton: Hey, I can touch it. Why can't you?
 * Mr. Krabs: You hang around your chum cooking all day. Do you expect me to...well...expect anything else?
 * Plankton: What are you saying, Krabs? [continues walking] You know what, it doesn't matter. We're not going to get any closer to Ruffe-sia at this pace.
 * Mr. Krabs: Actually, I think we are. [points to sign that reads "Welcome to Ruffe-sia, the largest city in the ocean."]
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and Plankton walking down a sidewalk]
 * Plankton: This place is beautiful...for a town with a low-down restaurant.
 * Mr. Krabs: Really? I don't see a Chum Bucket.
 * Plankton: [sarcastically] Ha ha! Very funny, Krabs! Now can we get on with this so I can get back to stealing your formula?!
 * Mr. Krabs: Fine. But we'll see if you get my formula. [points] It's right over there. [camera reveals a large building with "The Sizzling Burger Inc."] The Sizzling Burger headquarters.
 * Plankton: [clenches fists] It's time to break in.
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and Plankton at the front door of The Sizzling Burger Inc.]
 * Mr. Krabs: [knocks on door] Open up! We have a few words for this headquarters.
 * Male Fish 1: [opens door] Well how many words? I don't have a great memory.
 * Plankton: We have a complaint!
 * Male Fish 1: Then you'll have to take it up with the complaints department which is located fifty miles down the street. Good day, sirs. [slams the door]
 * Mr. Krabs: Oh no you don't! [knocks on door] You better open this door right now, or so help me, I'll...!
 * Male Fish 1: [opens door] What?! I told you where the complaints department is!
 * Plankton: That's it! Get out of my way! [begins kicking the male fish, failing to make him fall] This is impossible! He must be made of metal!
 * Mr. Krabs: [taps male fish with foot, causing him to fall with pain] I don't think so. Come on, Plankton! [rope falls over Mr. Krabs and Plankton]
 * Male Fish 2: I'm sorry, but that's not going to happen. [comes toward Mr. Krabs with tape; places tape on rope] There's a little tear in the rope. Just let me...[grunts and places tape on rope] There we go.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob at the Krusty Krab]
 * SpongeBob: [walks by Squidward] Do you know where Mr. Krabs is? He's been gone for...uh...twenty minutes. I'm starting to get worried.
 * Squidward: Don't know and don't care.
 * SpongeBob: But if Mr. Krabs is gone, who will run the Krusty Krab?
 * Squidward: Oh please.
 * SpongeBob: Who...who...who will sign your paychecks?
 * Squidward: [jumps up] We need to find him!
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Squidward running to Karen]
 * SpongeBob: Karen! Karen!
 * Karen: [sighs] If you must know, Mr. Krabs and Plankton are at The Sizzling Burger headquarters in Ruffe-sia.
 * SpongeBob: Ruffe-sia?! That's so far away.
 * Squidward: [sarcastically] I know. It must be devastating to go more than eight miles from your house.
 * [scene cuts to Mr. Krabs and Plankton, tied in a rope]
 * Mr. Krabs: Are you going to let us out of here or what? [camera pans to reveal Mr. Krabs, filing his way out of the rope with his dollar bill]
 * Male Fish 2: Nope. Not until you loan the Krusty Krab over to us so we can open our newest franchise, The Grass Grazers.
 * Mr. Krabs: I've never heard of such...
 * Plankton: Don't do it, Krabs! Stealing your business is my game! Don't let a simpleton take over your business!
 * Mr. Krabs: I didn't think I would have to fight off the Krusty Krab from two simpletons.
 * [SpongeBob and Squidward bust into the door]
 * Mr. Krabs: SpongeBob!...and Squidward. What are you two doing here?
 * Squidward: Duh. We're here to save you...and to a lesser extent, Plankton.
 * Plankton: I resent that.
 * SpongeBob: [spots Mr. Krabs filing the dollar] Don't worry. I'll get you out of here, Mr. Krabs! [picks up dollar bill] With this dollar bill, I can't fail! [dollar bill is pinned to wall with pin] Or maybe you can.
 * Male Fish 2: You think you're so sneaky, sponge? Well, based on what I just saw, I don't think so.
 * SpongeBob: Me neither.
 * Male Fish 2: I'll let your friends go...one condition.
 * SpongeBob: Anything! Anything! Well, maybe not anything. But most of anything!
 * Male Fish 2: Duel my head chef...Donovan.
 * [Donovan jumps from the kitchen]
 * SpongeBob: [takes out duel spatulas] Duel him how? In mortal combat? A pirate battle? A lip-gloss off?
 * Male Fish 2: No! You must defeat him...in a cook-off.
 * SpongeBob: [takes a deep breath] I'm ready.
 * Donovan: [grabs two eggs and throws them at SpongeBob] Dodge this, sponge boy!
 * SpongeBob: [chops eggs in two with spatula] Good enough for you?
 * Donovan: [leaps over SpongeBob and catches the scrambled eggs on two plates] Not quite.
 * Mr. Krabs: Kick him to the fryer, SpongeBob!
 * SpongeBob: [grabs two onions and chops them with the spatula] How well do you do against the Onion Obstacle? [begins throwing onion pieces at Donovan]
 * Donovan: [hits several onion slices away, yet is thrown into wall with remaining] You think that you have defeated me? Take on my Pepper Papayas! [throws hot peppers at SpongeBob's eyes]
 * SpongeBob: Ah! My eyes! [slips over ball] Who leaves a ball in the middle of the floor? [falls onto floor]
 * Donovan: Face it, Sponge! I have defeated you! Give up now!
 * SpongeBob: [thinks] No! I have one more trick up my sleeve! [prepares Krabby Patty with fries and a soda] Order up, Donovan! [throws tray onto Donovan's foot]
 * Donovan: [falls onto floor while holding foot] Ow! You have bested me, sponge! I give up. [tears white piece of suit off of shirt and holds it up in truce]
 * SpongeBob: [cuts Mr. Krabs and Plankton out of the rope] Mr. Krabs! I saved the day!
 * Mr. Krabs: I know! Good job, boy-o!
 * SpongeBob: Now let's get home! [kicks open front door, only for front door to knock SpongeBob back into the building; crashing is heard offscreen]
 * [episode ends]