A Dirty Battle

A Dirty Battle is the twelfth episode of the spin-off, Absorbent Days, and the twelfth episode of season one. In this episode, While blowing bubbles, SpongeBob’s blow stick falls into a toxic waste dump. After what he believes to be a thorough cleaning, SpongeBob tries to blow again, only for the toxicity of the chemicals to intervene with the bubble solution, giving birth to the Dirty Bubble. SpongeBob and Patrick fail in the first attempt to stop the Dirty Bubble. Due to the collection of harmful cells and bubble solution, the Dirty Bubble grows to an enormous size. Can SpongeBob and Patrick save the town? This episode is paired with Regeneration Sensation.

Characters

 * SpongeBob SquarePants
 * Patrick Star
 * Dirty Bubble (debut)
 * Hot Dog Vender (debut and cameo)
 * Customer 1 (cameo)
 * Female Fish 1 (debut and cameo)

Transcript

 * [scene starts with SpongeBob and Patrick, blowing bubbles]
 * Patrick: [blows a large bubble in the shape of a pineapple] Do you know what that is, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: [laughs] Of course, Patrick. It's my house in bubble form.
 * Patrick: Really? Great, because I didn't know what it was.
 * [bubble pops]
 * SpongeBob: My turn. [dips stick into bubble solution] Time blow a bubble so large, it will make even Mr. Krabs's house look like a scallop.
 * Patrick: I would have settled for the small tent behind us, but if you want such large standards...
 * SpongeBob: [confused] But that is my house behind us.
 * Patrick: You mean this pineapple? [places hand on SpongeBob's shoulder] I am so sorry, buddy. Is there anything I can do to make your house look as good as my bubble replica made it look?
 * SpongeBob: What are you trying to...? Never mind. [blows bubble; bubble wand gets taken away by bubble]
 * Patrick: Let it go. It needs to get away from...[looks back] here.
 * SpongeBob: Let's go after it, Patrick. [begins running after bubble wand] Come down, bubble wand! [leaps after it, only for the bubble to go higher] Just a little further... [leaps toward bubble wand, yet is grabbed by Patrick] What are you doing?
 * Patrick: You have a little smudge here. [begins whacking off speck] Good to go.
 * SpongeBob: Does it matter if...? [continues running after bubble wand] Almost there. [stops running] I wouldn't want to jump any further. [looks at large toxic waste dump in his mist]
 * Patrick: [looks at waste dump] Kind of reminds you of home, huh, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Look, Patrick! [points to slipping bubble wand]
 * [Bubble wand finally slips out bubble and into the toxic waste dump]
 * SpongeBob: I know what I must do. [hops into toxic waste dump, landing on sand surrounded by barrels of toxic waste] Where are you, bubble wand? It's really creepy...down here. [steps on bubble wand] Oh, there you are. [covers nose] But man, are you smelly. And covered in waste. Eew.
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob starting a bath]
 * SpongeBob: Now time to hop in. [throws bubble wand into the bathtub] Now, wash up. [throws in soap and a washcloth] We have more bubble blowing to do later.
 * [Title card appears on screen saying "Three hours later"]
 * SpongeBob: [walks to bubble wand in bathtub] I think that's a thorough cleaning. [picks up bubble wand, appearing to be absolutely clean]
 * Patrick: [with towel on face, enters the bathroom] Does the bubble wand have a towel on?
 * SpongeBob: Yes, you can take off the towel.
 * Patrick: What towel? [takes off blindfold] This is just a decorative blindfold I got from the store. I also have this sea unicorn one, [holds up sea unicorn blindfold], and this spiny coral one...with real plastic spikes.
 * SpongeBob: Then it's time to blow some bubbles.
 * Patrick: It is? This early in the afternoon?
 * [scene cuts to SpongeBob and Patrick, resuming their bubble blowing]
 * SpongeBob: Now it's time to blow that bubble I promised. [begins blowing] Hmm...strangely hard to blow in to. [tries blowing harder] I think it's working. [begins blowing a bubble]
 * Patrick: You have some talent there, SpongeBob. I never could blow green bubbles.
 * SpongeBob: Green? [blows the bubble out completely, revealing a large, green bubble]
 * Patrick: [walks up to it] What in the world is this thing?
 * SpongeBob: It's...a green bubble, the first of its kind.
 * [Green bubble begins to rotate]
 * Patrick: What is it doing?
 * SpongeBob: I think it's...morphing. Wait a minute! [looks closer] The green color. The size. [hears voice] The strange laugh. [grabs Patrick] Patrick, it's the...
 * Dirty Bubble: [evilly laughs; grows face and mouth] Ha ha ha! It is I, the Dirty Bubble, here to invade all of the inhabitants of your putrid land.
 * Patrick: [stratches head in thought] Hmmm...um...I didn't understand any of that.
 * Dirty Bubble: [laughs] See you later as my minions. [knocks down SpongeBob and Patrick]
 * SpongeBob: [stands back up] Halt, Dirty Bubble. [dips bubble wand into bubble solution] You're not going anywhere. [blows small bubbles toward Dirty Bubble, only for him to deflect them back to SpongeBob and Patrick]
 * Dirty Bubble: You think that puny bullets will stop a ten foot bubble? Maybe you'll learn after this. [begins shooting large bubbles out of mouth] Dodge that.
 * SpongeBob: Get down, Patrick! [blows a bubble chamber over themselves, only for the large bubbles to penetrate the shield] Brace for...
 * [Patrick and SpongeBob are knocked to the ground]
 * SpongeBob: ...Impact.
 * Patrick: What just happened?
 * Dirty Bubble: I'm invincible! [evilly laughs and flies away]
 * [scene cuts to downtown Bikini Bottom]
 * Hot Dog Vender: So, you want mustard on that?
 * Customer 1: Mustard on a foot long? Is this vending cart made of money or something? Isn't mustard really expensive nowadays?
 * Hot Dog Vender: It's just mustard. Would you want mustard on it?
 * Customer 1: I don't like your attitude.
 * Hot Dog Vender: Maybe the guy behind you can shed some light as to why I'm annoyed by your question.
 * [camera pans to show Dirty Bubble behind the customer]
 * Hot Dog Vender: Would you explain to the customer as to why it doesn't matter if mustard goes on a hot dog?
 * Dirty Bubble: You have been on about this for an hour. Can we get on with it?
 * Hot Dog Vender: That depends. It's his choice of condiment.
 * Customer 1: I'll have....a...[thinks] This might have to take another thirty minutes.
 * Dirty Bubble: [sighs and turns into a liquid on the ground] This can't possibly end soon.
 * [scene cuts to Dirty Bubble, traveling down the streets of Bikini Bottom]
 * Dirty Bubble: [to self] I need to find a way to take over the city. I need to gather intel from the citizens themselves. [floats down to one citizen] It is I, the Dirty Bubble! Now give me your wallet.
 * Female Fish 1: Who exactly are you?
 * Dirty Bubble: I am, for hopefully the last time, the Dirty Bubble. I will say it again: Give me your wallet!
 * Female Fish 1: Why should I do that? I don't even know you.
 * Dirty Bubble: Yes, but we met not half a minute ago. Therefore, you know me now, so give me your wallet.
 * Female Fish 1: [thinks] Neh. I think I'll just hold onto it. [walks away]
 * Dirty Bubble: [in shock; gibberish] I..I...how dare...[floats in front of female fish] Give me your wallet now or you will soon regret it.
 * Female Fish 1: Why do you want my wallet?
 * Dirty Bubble: Oh, so there has to be a reason?
 * Female Fish 1: I just need to know why you need my money.
 * Dirty Bubble: Well, I...uh...you're not making this easy. [begins to rotate speedily, blowing the female fish's purse onto the ground] Now we're getting somewhere. [eats the purse and floats away]
 * Female Fish 1: Help! Help! A green ball has just stolen my purse!
 * Dirty Bubble: I'm not a ball, ma'am! I am a bubble, as in, The Dirty Bubble! [evilly laughs]
 * SpongeBob: [offscreen] Laugh while you can, Dirty Bubble! [onscreen; appears operating a tank] But laugh while you're being defeated with your own kind. [shoots large bubble at the Dirty Bubble]
 * Dirty Bubble: What in the blue ocean...? [dodges the large bubble] What are you doing?
 * Patrick: [offscreen] Taking you down is what we're doing. [onscreen; appears with slingshots and bubble ammo] At least I think that's what we're doing. What are we doing, SpongeBob?
 * SpongeBob: Patrick, get down! [shoots large bubble at Dirty Bubble, knocking him away from Patrick] Give that wallet back to the lady down there!
 * Female Fish 1: Actually, I have a backup wallet. [holds up back-up wallet]
 * Patrick: [shoots a bubble at the Dirty Bubble, only to cause no affect] I already told you: I'm immune to those little bullets you shoot at me.
 * SpongeBob: [shoots large bubble at Dirty Bubble, causing him to crash into a building] Take that, evil doer. Are you ready to give up?
 * Dirty Bubble: Not really. [floats off of building] If you think you're going to defeat me with those, then you're wrong. I may have been taken down with those large bubbles, but what about at this size? [begins to grow extremely large]
 * SpongeBob: [gulps] Oh, great bubble. [looks at bubble solution bottle] At least I still have you.
 * [Bubble solution bottle puts on hat, grabs a suitcase, and walks away]
 * [Dirty Bubble eats SpongeBob and Patrick and takes them to a large field]
 * SpongeBob: What do you want with us?
 * Patrick: Yeah. [with more emphasis] What do you want with us?
 * Dirty Bubble: I already told you before. Fish...always have to repeat yourself with them. I said you were going to become my minions. And what better time to start than now?
 * Patrick: Maybe in about an hour or two.
 * Dirty Bubble: But then again, you two would make better fish sticks than minions. So, I guess I'm just going to have to eat you.
 * Patrick: I guess that's the cue to run. [begins to run from Dirty Bubble]
 * SpongeBob: Right behind you, buddy. [camera reveals SpongeBob on Patrick's back]
 * Dirty Bubble: Oh no, you don't! [blows large bubbles at SpongeBob and Patrick, only for Patrick to dodge them] You cannot escape me! [blows final large bubble, causing Patrick and SpongeBob to be split apart]
 * SpongeBob: [tumbles down hilll; rubs head] How are we going to defeat a hundred foot tall bubble?
 * Patrick: [tumbles down the hill and lands on SpongeBob] I don't know about you, but I'm taking a nap. [puts on towel blindfold]
 * SpongeBob: Of course! The blindfolds! Patrick, can I see your blindfolds?
 * [Patrick begins to snore]
 * SpongeBob: Just great. [reaches into Patrick's pocket, pulling out a bundle of blindfolds] Where is it? Where is it?
 * Dirty Bubble: [comes around corner] There you are. Time to be eaten! [charges toward SpongeBob and Patrick]
 * SpongeBob: [continues to sort through blindfolds] Where is it?
 * Patrick: [wakes up] What'd I miss? [sees charging Dirty Bubble] What are we going to do?
 * SpongeBob: [accidently throws spikey blindfold off cliff] No! [leaps toward the blindfold]
 * Patrick: [grabs SpongeBob by the pants] You have a speck here, buddy. [wipes off pants while SpongeBob has the blindfold]
 * SpongeBob: Time for you to pop, Dirty Bubble. [throws spikey blindfold at Dirty Bubble, popping him]
 * Patrick: Huh...what just happened? I wasn't looking.
 * SpongeBob: I'll tell you what just happened! We just defeated one of the most notorious foes in Bikini Bottom. Thanks to your blindfold, we just saved the town.
 * Patrick: Well, how does this affect me?
 * SpongeBob: I'm sure we won't be seeing him again.
 * [SpongeBob and Patrick walk from field]
 * [Dirty Bubble solution begins to come together, rebirthing the Dirty Bubble]
 * Dirty Bubble: That's what you think, square one! [evilly laughs]
 * [episode ends]